Heart Broken

I want to move on so bad but I don't want to move on by dating someone else. My heart won't let me hurt someone the same way that he hurt me. How can he not love me after all the love I've shown him, after always being there for him. What kind of cold hearted person could just rip another persons heart to shreads? I just want to move on, I want to be able to hear his voice or see his face without crying and missing the time we shared. This isn't suppose to be my life. Im suppose to marry the father of my child not be alone with my beautiful little girl.

Crushed

At times I can't help but feel like it's my fault that I'm sitting here with a broken heart. Maybe I should've said goodbye when u said those words that haunt me everyday. But I guess it's too late to think about that cuz I'm laying here with tears in my eyes looking at our daughter and seeing you and wondering what I can do to get my man back. It's no secret that I still love you and would do anything to have you love me back. Not having your love is making me question myself. Am I not good enough, am I capable of being loved? I always thought it was easy for a man to love someone like me. Someone who's smart,independent,funny, sweet and such a freak. What is it about me that make men not want to stay?

So much has happened

I know it's been a minute since I've posted something so I'm a update the world on watz going on. The biggest thing is I'm pregnant!!! I found out when I was about 5 weeks n now I'm 7 months preggo. We don't know what we're having yet but I have an appointment for an ultrasound next week May 11, 2011. Oh I know you're wondering who is we well we is a nice/ass hole I met on July 06, 2010. Don't really wanna comment on him cuz he pisses me off so let's get back to the baby, so yeah I'm so excited. Our plan is if we're having a boy we're going to name him John Marshall Ireland Jr. n if it's a girl its going to be Caitlin Essence Ireland (honestly I'm still working on the girl middle name so Essence isn't a definite). Well I'll write again once I know the sex of the baby :)lmbo right now cuz the baby is kicking as I type